UniteBoston

Bridging Divides Across Christians for the Flourishing of the City

Hit Hard: One Family’s Journey of Letting Go of What Was— and Learning to Live Well with What Is

Today, we’re excited to celebrate Hit Hard, a powerful new book by Harvard chaplains and long-time Cru staff Pat and Tammy McLeod. After their son Zach suffered a traumatic brain injury during a high school football game, the McLeods were thrust into a journey of “ambiguous loss”—grieving the son they once knew while embracing the son who remained.

With deep honesty and hope, Hit Hard offers a moving testimony of how we can pick up the pieces, redefine expectations, and trust God for hope in the midst of unresolved pain.

This book will resonate with anyone facing loss—from brain injuries to addiction, divorce, foster care, or Alzheimer’s. Read a snapshot of Tammy’s story below!

P.S. There is a sale going on THIS WEEK for their book re-release – Get the ebook for only $2.99 or the paperback for the low price of $9.99 from July 7th through July 13th!

The dreaded phone call. “Get to the hospital quickly. Doctors need your consent for emergency brain surgery for Zach.” 

Our sixteen-year-old son was playing in a football scrimmage that night. What? 

When we arrived at the hospital, the surgeon told us that our son’s prognosis was death to full recovery or anything in between. We signed the paperwork, kissed and prayed for our unconscious son, and nurses wheeled him into the operating room. 

Zach survived the surgery, but a portion of his brain did not. 

During four months of acute rehab, he learned to walk again with a brace, to say a few words, and to do activities of daily living with help, but seventeen years later, he still has little short-term memory or speech, and right-side weaknesses of all kinds. 

Zach chokes easily and can fall if someone doesn’t hold onto his gait belt every minute. He lives in a group home and needs one-to-one care twenty-four hours a day. He will never be able to work for a living, marry, or have children. You can meet our beloved Zach here:

@notaloneinambiguousloss

Meet our beloved Zach! We love him and his community who supports and loves him as well. #hithard #awareness #ambiguousloss

♬ original sound – Tammy McLeod

Ambiguous Loss 

By the two-year anniversary of Zach’s injury, after trying every available intervention, I realized he would not have a strong recovery. 

I poured through grief books only to realize that loss to death differed from our type of loss. I asked others if they knew any books dealing with our sort of loss, but no one did. 

I finally called the librarian at Zach’s former rehab hospital. The next day he emailed that the term for our loss is ambiguous loss and sent articles by Pauline Boss who coined the term. 

I immediately devoured the articles and then ordered her book.

Boss describes two types of ambiguous loss. One is when the person is physically absent, yet psychologically present in the minds of loved ones. Examples include those missing due to war, natural disasters, kidnapping, divorce, adoption, or immigration. 

The other type of ambiguous loss occurs when a person is bodily present but is not the same emotionally or cognitively. Examples of this loss include people affected by Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, addiction, severe mental illness, or debilitating brain injury.

Every sentence, every paragraph resonated with my pain. Ambiguous loss validated my conflicted feelings over our situation: In so many ways Zach was gone, but he didn’t die. What kind of grief is that? Ambiguous loss. Finally, our pain had a name. 

Boss wrote about how people who are closely attached and become separated through ambiguous loss, suffer a trauma even greater than death.

Someone understood. 

Zach and I had been so closely attached, connected through music and deep discussions and praying for and with each other. No wonder his situation felt like a trauma even greater than death. 

And more. Grieving people often talk about the importance of closure. I had sensed that in our type of loss, there wasn’t and shouldn’t be closure. Couldn’t be closure. Zach was still with us.

Boss confirmed my belief. To pursue closure was a fruitless and impossible endeavor. Instead, I learned that we needed to learn how to hold two opposing ideas in our minds at the same time—having and not having. 

@notaloneinambiguousloss

If you guys would like the full version, comment down below for more! #ambiguousloss #revisingattachment #music #awareness #yourebeautiful #CapCut

♬ original sound – Tammy McLeod

Ambiguous Loss and Relationships

Living with ambiguous loss is incredibly stressful. There are many reasons why this is so, but one is that it can be tough on relationships. Many marriages don’t make it through ambiguous loss. 

Rather than holding two opposing ideas in our minds at the same time, my husband and I tended to fall off on one side or the other of “having and not having.” This set up the conflict in our book Hit Hard: One Family’s Journey of Letting Go of What Was and Learning to Live Well with What Is.

In addition to dealing with our own grief and trying to communicate with each other through the loss, we also had three other children and wanted to help them deal with their pain.

Then there were our friends. Since there are no public ceremonies to acknowledge ambiguous loss and its fallout, or honor the memory of the loved one, friends were unsure how to respond to the endlessness of our unique form of loss. Should they grieve with us, or pretend life was fine now that Zach had lived through it all? 

We hope that through our story you will experience the nearness of God in ambiguous loss and learn how to be resilient in it. If you are not experiencing ambiguous loss at this time, we hope our story will help you to help others navigate the rocky terrain. 

Learn more:

  1. We want to highly recommend everyone pick up a copy of their book  Hit Hard: One Family’s Journey of Letting Go of What Was— and Learning to Live Well with What Is. Their book is on sale for Amazon Prime Day. Get the ebook for only $2.99 or the paperback for the low price of $9.99 from July 7th through July 13th!
  2. Follow Pat and Tammy’s journey on TikTok @notaloneinambiguousloss, or Instagram and Facebook @patandtammymcleod

Juneteenth and the Unfinished Work of Freedom

In this Sunday’s newsletter, our featured blogger is Rev. June Cooper, who is an alum of the UB Sankofa Cohort and Theologian in the City at Old South Church. Rev. June Cooper offers a stirring reflection on the legacy of freedom and the unfinished work of justice in our nation, based on a Juneteenth sermon she preached at Old South Church. Drawing from scripture, history, and present-day challenges, she invites us to remember, rejoice, and recommit towards God’s vision for justice and liberation for all people.

P.S. Special thank you to the Boston Faith and Justice Network for sharing this moving reflection with us!

Juneteenth is upon us! And boy, do we need it now!

This Juneteenth marks the 160th anniversary of the day Union Major General Gordon Granger led soldiers to Galveston, Texas to proclaim that the enslaved people in that state were now free. After the Emancipation Proclamation of January 1, 1863, and the official end of the Civil War on May 26, 1865, Confederate states, including Texas, had been attempting to keep hold of their slaves for as long as possible. Many of the slaves had not been informed that they had been freed or that the Confederacy had lost the war. Union soldiers were then sent to physically go to each of the Confederate states to inform everyone that enslaved people had been freed. June 19th, or Juneteenth, was the day that Major Granger and his soldiers made it to Texas, the last Confederate state on their tour, to declare that the Emancipation Proclamation would be enforced, whether Texas slaveholders were ready for it or not. Rest assured that the “enslaved individuals” did not receive a check for their back pay. They were freed with just the clothes on their backs!

Phillis Wheatley, the first published African American poet, and member of the Old South Church Meeting House, and now our Patron Saint at Old South Church in Boston, wrote these words in 1774, “in every human Breast God has implanted a Principle which we call Love of Freedom; it is impatient of Oppression, and pants for Deliverance, and the same Principle lives in us.” For those who had been denied freedom it finally came. For the nearly 250,000 enslaved people, they realized that their cries and prayers for liberation had indeed been heard.

Free at last!

In a perfect world we might be able to say that slavery and oppression ended on Juneteenth. But that is not the case. Brian Stevenson, founder and curator of the Equal Justice Initiative in Montgomery, Alabama, highlights and documents that slavery evolved rather than ended in 1865. Yet, even in the face of attempts to keep black people enslaved through systems of oppression, the black community continues to rise with grace and dignity- from championing civil rights advances that we all enjoy today, to the integrating of the Boston Public Schools in 1974 to exposing police brutality through the Black Lives Matter Movement. The black community continues to forge a path forward achieving momentous gains and achievements. A little over 142 years after the first Juneteenth, American elected its first black president who asked us to choose, “hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.”

This year Juneteenth comes at a painful time in the history of our country as the devolution of democracy is at hand. Across this nation there are efforts to forget those achievements. Our government has escalated its efforts to erase Black history from public institutions, targeting museums, libraries, and digital archives that have long preserved the truth of America’s past. Government programs and policies that provide a safety net for the more venerable in our society have been dismantled. Critical medical and public health research projects that advance health care and our educational institutions are under attack, while our siblings are being rounded up and detained by ICE without due process.

Juneteenth offers us a moment of joy and sacred remembrance. It is indeed a time to remember and celebrate the named and unnamed heroes and sheroes on whose shoulders we stand. We honor them for their commitment to freedom and the sacrifices that they made. They were not passive recipients of freedom because they knew that real change demanded courage and persistence. We have come so far, by faith, and we honor those who never stopped believing in a better future. And it is with songs of joy that we proclaim God’s faithfulness in providing deliverance.

For people of faith, Juneteenth invites us to reflect on what freedom really means.
Is it merely the absence of chains or is it the presence of opportunity and justice?
Is it simply about independence or is it about interdependence and kinship,
where every person’s humanity is valued and respected?

Freedom is not a destination we have reached, but a road we are still walking. As we walk this road, we do not walk alone. In Luke 4:18, Jesus announces to all people of all generations that God “ anointed Him and sent Him “to proclaim freedom for the captives and release for darkness for the prisoners” (Isaiah 61:1). As followers of Christ, the Spirit of the Lord is upon us now! We are anointed to finish God’s unfinished agenda of releasing captives, restoring sight to the blind and binding up the broken hearted and proclaiming the year of the Lord’s favor. As the hands and feet of God, Howard Thurman reminds us to find our path and passion, “Do not ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive!”.

As we walk or march, let us claim the power of the Holy Spirit, so we can pick up the sacred work of finishing God’s unfinished agenda. The more we understand the power of our freedom through Christ, hope rises, we face our fears with courage, and we can walk together with honesty, truth-telling and love with an unwavering belief that liberty and justice must be for all.

Our God is marching on.

Click above to watch the worship service at Old South Church, with Rev. June Cooper’s powerful preaching, spoken word, and special music by Donnell Patterson, Ida Kamrara, Chibuzo Dunun, and Black Like Crystal.

Lift Every Voice and Sing – James Weldon Johnson (1899)

Let us lift our voices and sing till earth and heaven ring,

Ring with the harmonies of Liberty: Let our rejoining raise High as the Listening skies,

Let it resound loud as the rolling seas.

Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,

Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brough us.

Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,

Let us march on till victory is won.

Blessing Promised, Blessing Received

“It’s been awhile since many of us have stumbled out of a multi-church gathering, an hour or more after the ‘program’ officially ‘ended,’ because the Glory of God had filled the place and no one – not the pastors, not the laity, not the youth, not the kids, not the Boomers – no one could tear themselves away.”

Have you ever experienced a worship gathering so powerful, so saturated with the presence of God, that you didn’t want to leave? On Maundy Thursday, hundreds of Christians from dozens of churches came together for Churches Praying Together—a night marked by Spirit-filled worship, a compelling message on the self-giving love that unity demands, communion, and healing prayer. Today, we’re honored to share a powerful reflection from Linus, a Boston native and member of Abundant Grace Church, about how God met him that evening.

“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
— 2 Corinthians 3:17

I want to start by stating that I was not planning to go to the Maundy Thursday gathering. When my pastor had asked me if I was planning to go, I told him “no,” as big gatherings aren’t typically my cup of tea. He stated rather prophetically that if I went I would be blessed. I doubt he had any idea as to the extent his promise would be fulfilled. Before the event, I felt a change of heart and decided to go. 

I arrived a little early and found my saved seat in the front row, reserved for me by a brother and friend who’d previously invited me to sit beside him. When the worship started, I excused myself and moved to the back of the auditorium as my ears are more sensitive to volume now that I am 62.

Instantly I felt a Surge of Power, of Exultation, of the Wonderful and Thrilling Presence of God. It literally took my breath away. I immediately lifted my face and arms to the Lord (See documenting photo below). And my feet commenced to dancing. Oh the Transcendent Joy of His Presence! (You can look it up: Psalm 16.11). Soon I felt compelled, yet at the same time blessedly free, to lay prostrate, arms fully extended, face streaming with tears of joy into the carpet, overwhelmed with gratitude for His presence and refreshment. “Thank You Jesus! Thank You Jesus!” was all I could say and all I wanted to say. I was so grateful for the liberating presence of the Holy Spirit. 

One of the abiding desires of my heart has been to be free and released in body and spirit when worshiping the Lord. The Lord knows this about me full well, and graciously granted me a time and a place to praise and worship Him with abandon that Maundy Thursday evening. I’ve read many times of David dancing before the Lord with all his might, unaware of and indifferent to any disapproval of his uninhibited expression of love and worship toward the God of Israel, as David’s focus was on Him alone (2 Sam. 6.12-21). Reading that account always leaves me with a sense of yearning to enjoy that same kind of release. I was blessed and liberated to experience a taste of that at the gathering. 

After the worship, feeling a rejuvenation and refreshment of spirit that I hadn’t felt in years, I found a seat beside a sister whom I’ve known for decades. We connected in a way we never had before. We were enjoying each other and giggling on occasion about one thing or another, and then enjoying prayer together. Another woman joined us, whom neither of us had met, but it made no difference. All our prayers were in sync and blessed. All one in Christ.

Then came the benediction and dismissal. Yet, because I was still basking and reveling in the presence of God, I felt zero desire to leave. I found a dear brother and friend whom I have known for over 20 years. I put my arm around him and he put his arm around me and we just stood there, kind of feeling, “Isn’t this amazingly great?” and yet neither one of us said a word. No words were necessary. Such freedom! And again I’ll say—”Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 

Folks were invited to come to the front to receive prayer, as it was clear the Lord wanted to minister to His people in various and specific ways. How Kind and Caring and Personal He is! 

There was a moment which I found delightfully laugh-out-loud funny, where another leader from the front made a general announcement that those who wanted to leave were not bound to stay: “I heard a benediction somewhere in there about 25 minutes ago.” Still, few people left. 

Everywhere and every time I met eyes with someone I didn’t know/had never met, which was the majority, I felt love and acceptance for them, and an unspoken acknowledgement that we were all joined together in Christ, all recipients of His grace and salvation. I thought of a couple lines from an old hymn:

“Gimme that old time religion…makes me love everybody.”

Indeed, it does.

Ah, what a blessed place to be with God’s people with His presence showering us all with His blessings. Denominations, religious affiliations, style of dress—all irrelevant. Only Jesus mattered, and the Unity He blesses those with who give God the place of preeminence. All praise be to God.

Other Testimonies

“It was such an honor to help lead the time of communion alongside other local pastors—and even more powerful to witness how God showed up when dozens came forward for healing prayer. Some testified that their back pain and other ailments were completely healed! Seeing the gifts of the Holy Spirit at work—so tangibly and beautifully—deeply encouraged my own faith in a way I haven’t experienced in a long time. While you may read this with skepticism, this isn’t just a ‘charismatic thing’—it’s a Jesus thing. The promises of the New Testament are still true today. ”
— Rev. Kelly Fassett, Executive Director of UniteBoston

“What a beautiful time together.  I always expect our united prayer times to be good, but this was beyond what I expected.  Praise the Lord.  As Sean preached, when we love Jesus, unity is the result. When I saw all of the other pastors praying for people after the service had “ended,” God instilled a confidence in my heart and a trust that together we are the Lord’s servants doing His will.  We truly are one church in Jesus our Lord.”
— Pastor Dave Hill, Abundant Grace Church

“Our family left the service last night and my 8th grade son, Isaac, said with great enthusiasm, ‘That is one of the best and most powerful services I have been to.’  We all agreed that this was a result of the love and unity in the room centered on worshipping and responding to Jesus.  I am thankful to have the privilege of contending with other pastors for Jesus to be glorified in our city!”
— Pastor Sean Richmond, Antioch Community Church

In Illo Uno Unum: On a New Pope and Christian Unity

“As Bishop of Rome, I consider one of my priorities to be that of seeking the re-establishment of full and visible communion among all those who profess the same faith in God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.” – Pope Leo XIV, in Papal letter released on Monday May 19

The recent election of Pope Leo XIV is a monumental moment in Christian history. Today, we’re honored to feature a reflection by Dr. Elizabeth M. Woodard, pastoral associate at Sacred Hearts Parish. Elizabeth is a Catholic theologian, musician, spiritual director, and author of Cruciform Ecumenism.

Below, she explores the power of the Holy Spirit to bind us together as one diverse Body in Christ, drawing from her experience in UB’s Christian unity cohort.

The selection of Pope Leo XIV this past week is an exciting event in the life of Christians worldwide. For many, it is a sign of Christian unity; for others, it is a stumbling block to unity. As a Roman Catholic theologian, I celebrate not just Pope Leo, but the office of bishop and the chair of Saint Peter in general, as a sign of unity among those who follow Christ. I believe that the office is the locus of the Church’s apostolicity, by which we claim not just any faith, but the faith Christ handed to the apostles. The succession of bishops and of popes demonstrates our continuity to the original, unchanged deposit of faith.

I know many of my brothers and sisters in Christ who belong to Protestant communions find the papacy divisive. The pope and the authority the Catholic Church attributes to him (as well as to all bishops), highlights the disparity between Christians who recognize that authority and those who do not. My Catholic ecclesiology is highly centralized. Christian communions who emphasize the role of the Holy Spirit more equally among all believers find the papacy to be a source of disunity among all Christ’s followers.

However, this isn’t the end of the story. I am filled with renewed hope for unity today than I have had in a long time. I was recently blessed to be part of a year-long unity cohort run by the Revs. Kelly Fassett and Devlin Scott of UniteBoston. It concluded with a retreat last weekend during which we finalized a “Beloved Community Lab” curriculum we had been working on throughout the year.

During the retreat, I was reminded of many of the reasons I am an ecumenist. I was reminded that the Church does not hold a monopoly on God; God is free to act in whatever ways he so chooses and through whichever people. I was reminded that God does, in fact, bless all the baptized with the power of the Holy Spirit to believe and to follow the Lord. This is a fact on which I believe both Catholics and Protestants agree. I was also reminded of the beautiful diversity among the body of Christ. During our weekend, we prayed on 1 Corinthians 12, that is Saint Paul’s metaphor of the Church (the Body of Christ) as a literal body.  How boring (and ineffective!) it would be if hands tried to be eyes, or ears, feet. 

I love my Church and I celebrate the newly begun pontificate of Pope Leo XIV. The first U.S. born Pope in the 2,000-year history of our Church, the 267th successor of Saint Peter is a Chicago Native who also later became a Peruvian citizen. He led the Augustians, a monastic order dedicated to the values of Saint Augustine, which includes “life in common.”

To this end, I recognize that even my own Catholic Church recognizes the unity among all the baptized. When someone already baptized becomes Catholic, the Catholic Church does not re-baptize them. They recognize the validity of all baptisms. Moreover, recent Popes such as Paul VI and John Paul II have emphasized the importance of ecumenism, writing, “Such division openly contradicts the will of Christ, scandalizes the world, and damages the holy cause of preaching the Gospel to every creature. But the Lord of Ages wisely and patiently follows out the plan of grace on our behalf, sinners that we are. In recent times more than ever before, He has been rousing divided Christians to remorse over their divisions and to a longing for unity…” (Unitatis Redintegratio, 1).

Furthermore, our newest Pope, Leo XIV, chose for his coat of arms a Latin phrase, In illo uno unum, or “In the One, we are one.” It beautifully calls to mind the holy enterprise of ecumenical unity, and John 17:21, in which Jesus prays, “I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.”

I pray that Pope Leo’s pontificate is one during which all Christians can remember and celebrate our unity in baptism, through which Christ claims us as his own and bestows in us the power of the Holy Spirit. This Spirit is not one of division, but one of unity, in which we all together call God “Abba!” This translates as “father,” or, more intimately, “daddy.” As we look to the Holy Father as the vicar of Christ who taught us to call God our Father, I pray that this era may be one of greater and greater unity among Christians. Though we disagree on certain matters of ecclesiology and theology, do we not together cry to God, in the name of Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit, “Abba?” 

I pray that God might help me see all Christians more clearly in their diverse beauty as my brothers and sisters in Christ, celebrating our uniqueness, our unity-in-diversity, much as we celebrate the variety of gifts within our friend groups or our families. May we all grow in holiness, and together seek daily conversion of heart and mind in the Holy Spirit, that we might be “one in the one.”

More on Pope Leo: 

A Night to Remember: Celebrating Bridge-Building and Beloved Community

We are beyond grateful for everyone who joined us at the UniteBoston’s Fundraising Party & Community Gathering on April 11, 2025! Over 100 people gathered together for an incredible evening where we enjoyed a delicious Caribbean BBQ meal, gained wisdom from a keynote talk by Rev. Michelle Sanchez, and heard a live music performance by Rev. Devlin Scott.

A HUGE thank you to those who generously donated and pledged throughout the evening. Your support helped us raise an incredible $5,000 in just one night! This brings us to a total of $32,000 raised toward our $40,000 goal for the season – Praise God! Your generous gifts enable us to host all of our programs, including:

  • Our cohorts, which are building a “beloved community lab” for people to be formed as peacemakers and bridge-builders—agents of unity in a fractured world
  • Our newsletter, which connects hundreds of churches across historic divides and is read by ~2000 people weekly
  • Our united gospel choir tour, where 140+ college students are growing in leadership skills, cross-cultural discipleship, and leading the Church in worship of Jesus Christ

We are absolutely blown away by the outpouring of generosity – Every dollar raised, every conversation shared, and every connection made is a step forward to build our capacity of equipping Christians to be peacemakers, bridge-builders, and reconciling leaders.

It’s truly a joy to have you alongside us on this journey and are excited to keep the momentum going! We recognize that transformative movements don’t rest on individuals alone, but are sustained by many working together to do God’s work in Boston more fully, where every joint supplies (Eph 4:16). Thank you for believing in us – You make us stronger!

“Love is creative and redemptive. Love builds up and unites; hate tears down and destroys. The aftermath of the ‘fight with fire’ method … is bitterness and chaos, the aftermath of the love method is reconciliation and creation of the beloved community…. Yes, love — which means understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill, even for one’s enemies — is the solution.” — Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Towards beloved community,

– Rev. Kelly and Rev. Devlin

Photo Gallery and Video Highlights from the Evening

Photo Gallery

More Photos Here


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